Our dog Watson’s world is contracting. He can’t hear or see well. He’s on multiple medications for Cushings and other problems. He loses his doggy mind sometimes for reasons we don’t understand, especially later in the day. He is more sweet than smart. He’s always been an anxious pup but now he’s an anxious old man (about 12-13 years, we think; Watson was a rescue). I should get a T-shirt that says “Not the Momma” because my beloved wife is the gravitation center of his universe. No one is second. I might be fourth, good for walks and belly rubs.
The smaller his world becomes, the more attached Watson is to my wife. He follows her around closely. He’s not truly happy or settled without her close presence. Watson wanders around the house looking for her when she’s out, again, and again.
In part, this is an image of following Jesus. There’s an old Jewish saying, “May you be covered by the dust of your rabbi,” meaning that you’re close enough that you breathe in the dust raised as your rabbi walks ahead of you.
Watson’s devotion to Cathy is tiresome at times, and she occasionally longs for a break. The Gospel accounts make it clear that Jesus loved his disciples, but I’m pretty sure he looked forward to times alone. Perhaps this is why he occasionally said “Go!” (Just kidding.)
…
We had two intense thunderstorms two days ago. (We live in one of the lightning capitols of the world, apparently.) Watson loses control, becomes inconsolable, quakes, drools, pants with sustained panic. My beloved was out at an appointment, so “not the momma” tried patiently to calm him.
I think after all these years of living safely inside through thunderstorms he would learn that he doesn’t need to panic. He doesn’t need to hyperventilate, because the storm will end and he will be fine all through it. Not so.
Reflecting on this, it does remind me to ponder what my gravitational center is. How many storms have God carried me through, and yet I still am instantly likely to panic and worry? As Jesus challenged the disciples, “Where is your faith?” (Luke 8:25)
