Nothing quite like a pet to teach you things!
I take our dog Watson for walks every day, usually both morning and evening. From his point of view, I exist to take him out on walks, feed him treats, and rub his belly for a few minutes between 5:30 and 7:00 pm.
I usually enjoy our walks. I let Watson make many of the decisions about which way we go at intersections, and can figure out how to loop back to our house.
Sometimes I’m in a rush. I have stuff to do. I need to be back at a specific time, usually a short time. This urgency is pressing on my mind. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I want to walk faster.
Of course Watson doesn’t understand that urgency. “Hey, that smells good over there,” he thinks as he pulls in a direction I don’t want to go today. “Just give me a few more seconds to confirm which of my dog pals has peed on this fire hydrant.” “I’m feeling great, let’s go longer today!”
This contrast is a reminder that many of the people I’m working with don’t understand my frame of mind, either. I want this meeting to be short and dense, let’s get to the facts and make a decision. The guy who starts with the long chronological accounting can’t read my mind. The lady giving the presentation doesn’t understand that this is my fifth meeting of the morning and I’m thinking more about the new incoming artillery barrage in my inbox than her same-old-same-old project update. The new colleague launches into a conversation incorrectly assuming that you have all the same context she does. She’s been coached to get to the decision quickly (which is a useful and helpful practice) but in this case your mind is tired and you need her to slow down and lay out the groundwork.
The opportunity is for me to gently communicate something helpful, and to practice self-control. It doesn’t help anyone to simmer in frustration or allow your energized mental frameworks to tune people out.
