Some years ago I was talking with a friend who is an avid golfer. “I score a 10 yesterday! It was great,” he said. I asked him to explain this puzzling comment.
“I used to obsess about my golf score. Most of the time I was furious with my bad shots, and frankly, golf just wasn’t as much fun. So I decided to change the way I keep score for myself.
“If I have even one good shot on a hole, I give myself a plus one. A good shot is one that felt good, the swing was good, the ball went close to my intended target, it stayed in the fairway, or landed nicely on the green – could be any number of things but it was clearly a good shot. I’m happy with it.
“Getting a 10 means that on 10 holes out of 18 I had a shot that made me happy. And focusing on that score – my joy score – has made all the difference in enjoying golf again. I don’t focus on the things that make me mad.”
I greatly admire how my friend re-framed his scoring system. He’s optimizing for a healthy objective.
Leaders can be hard on themselves. Some of this is simply good self-discipline and striving for excellence. We’re always working to improve our craft. But there’s a dark, unhealthy aspect where we flagellate ourselves and make ourselves miserable. This is leadership self-sabotage.
What kind of “joy score” could you track in your leadership work? What healthy objectives should you be optimizing for? Give this some thought.
