Fact: You must be cool and decisive, even in the most difficult situations, to be an effective leader.
Fact: Being human, you’ll have swirls of emotion, doubt, even fear.
The way to become a leader who is outwardly cool and decisive under fire is to privately, systematically battle with your messy heart and mind.
Study biographies on this theme. People have extensively journaled their thoughts and emotions. They take long walks in natural settings to sort out their messy minds. They meditate. They pray. They study the biographies of others. They have a close circle of people for private conversations. All these things are practices which will help you. This crucial interior work strengthens your ability to manage your exterior.
One of the curious things that shows up in some biographies – Teddy Roosevelt and Winston Churchill are two examples – is that they consciously wrote journals and notes and letters that others would read and study in the decades to come. They kept their inner lives largely unwritten, uncaptured, because they saw themselves as persons of historic destiny.
My counsel: do NOT imitate this.
Journal freely. Write and record thoughts, emotions, dreams, concerns. Correspond privately with others. Write and share as a means of becoming better. Use the practices to explore your internals, perhaps the greatest adventure for any human.