Resilience has a very specific definition in physics: The degree to which material returns to its original state after it is deformed. A rubber ball has high resilience – it bounces! You’ve probably seen the slow-mo videos of a golf ball coming off the driver. One side temporarily becomes flat and then returns to its original shape as it flies away. By contrast, a ball of wax has low resilience. If you press on a wax ball it stays smooshed and doesn’t return to its original shape.
Resilience is a hot topic in leadership circles these days. We like the idea of resilient people who can come through stresses and setbacks and remain strong.
Let’s be clear: people are not rubber balls. When we experience an impact it changes us. We don’t go back to what we were before. It’s the wisdom of Heraclitus: “You can’t step twice into the same river” because both you and the river change.
Resilience is a function of your physical well-being and especially your mental toughness. You can’t buy resilience or inherit it. Resilience must be developed at the individual level. Where organizations exhibit resilience, it is an emergent property of individuals in the organization.
There are two keys to developing your personal resilience:
- Willingness to get up every time you are knocked down. Grit, determination, ability to push through resistance, and moving forward towards goals on the far side of discomfort and disappointment.
- Ability to embrace transformation through experiences and resist the desire to return to what you were before.
You can find plenty of counsel for the first key. Learn from biographies and people you observe. Spend time imagining yourself moving forward through difficulties, rather than being stymied.
There is less advice available on the second key, embracing your transformation. My counsel here:
- Scars from difficult experiences are real but must be put in proper context. Healing is possible. Scars do not need to force us into an endless holding pattern.
- It’s a mistake to beat yourself up because you can’t go back to what you were. Growth means you’re different. Growth is always uncomfortable, and rarely happens as quickly as we’d prefer.
- You are not a victim. Make decisions which move you in the right direction. Be willing to pay the price to move forward.
- Expect that others will misunderstand what you’re going through.
Finally, I encourage you to give thanks that you are not a rubber ball. Growth potential is your birthright!
