When you’re younger you should read and listen widely. Get exposed to many speakers, writers, people of different ages and interests in your life. This is about breadth of ideas and experiences.
As you get into your 30’s you should intentionally become more discerning about your mentors. Aim to go deeper. Find those relatively few which consistently inspire and challenge you. Which people (living, or dead) give you information, ideas, and frameworks which are helpful?
Your mentors should meet two criteria:
1) Both the content and the style resonate with you. It’s easy to pay attention to learn and go deep. You don’t have to agree 100% with everything, but 8 times out of 10 you should experience an Aha.
2) You see results in others when you share what you’re learning from your mentor.
There’s a pattern to observe with the great leaders and teachers in history: they had a close inner circle, and an expanding radius of others they taught and trusted. You can see this pattern in every great political leader in history. You can see this in everyone who led a movement. Jesus had 70 close followers, 12 chosen disciples, and then 3 of these were in his inner circle.
Settling on your best mentors is the inverse — there might be 70 who have influenced you somewhat, a dozen that are more significant, and three who most deeply influence you. Narrow in on your key few.
(Excerpted from my book Bold and Gentle: Thriving Wisely in an Age of Exponential Change)
