Here’s my advice when (not if) you hit a rough patch:

Talk to yourself more than you listen your inner committee chatter. Feed your mind with what you need to hear, rather than dialing up the volume on doubts and fears.

Own everything within 3 feet of you. Consistently focus on what you can control.  Decide on the vector that is mostly likely to take you to your desired future – then commit to paying the price required.  [This is where many people plateau or get mired for long times – they aren’t willing to consistently pay the price because they’re constantly renegotiating with the world.]

Accept that the outcomes you desire are only partially in your control. However, do not buy into the narrative that you are a victim of circumstances (or class, race, gender, age, etc.). You have agency, so use it.

Note: A rough patch is different than depression.

Persuading people is leadership work.

Changing people’s minds is very difficult. Consider the millions of Facebook posts and Tweets demonstrating the superior logic and rationale for one political party vs. another, one religion vs. another (or vs. atheism), one diet vs. another, etc. Very few people are persuaded to change their minds; most people instead find reinforcement for their preferred way of thinking.

Here is some excellent wisdom shared from an experienced man to a younger man:

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,correcting his opponents with gentleness. (2 Timothy 2:24-25)

One of my former bosses, Bob Merrill, used to say “Data beats no data 98% of the time.” You will run into situations where seemingly irrational conviction trumps any presentation of data. Welcome to working with human beings who overflow with sincere stupidity.

Perfectly reasonable people draw completely different conclusions from the same data. Here’s one of my favorite examples:

A psychiatrist engaged with a patient who was convinced he was a corpse. For several weeks the psychiatrist tried to convince the man that he was alive, without success. One week the psychiatrist asked his patient, “Do corpses bleed?”

“No,” said the man, “corpses do not bleed.”

The doctor produced a pin, poked the patient’s finger and squeezed out a drop of blood.

The patient saw the blood and said, “I guess corpses do bleed.”

You’ll experience at least a few examples in your leadership journey where seeing blood is not enough.

How to be more persuasive: 

Choose to be kind and patient. Snarkiness and mocking has its place, but should most often be reserved for situations of confronting evil. Egotistical leaders, dictators, and emperors without clothing loathe being made fun of because it’s very effective. But you have created a rift that probably can’t be healed. Therefore, if you’re trying to persuade people you intend to be with, work with, live with — drop the snarky one-liners and jokes.

Focus on facts, not feelings. Strong emotions reinforce a point of view. Persuasive people are able to focus on facts and data, while acknowledging a whole range of emotions that might be in play. (By contrast, manipulative people focus on your feelings.) You can respectfully correct incorrect facts, but you have zero control how they feel. “How you feel is your fault” is an important truth for leaders. Build your persuasive case on facts.

Accept that not everyone will be persuaded, at least not soon. Education is by definition inefficient and time-consuming. In any sizable group there are people who are with you, some who will remain opposed to an idea, and usually the largest group is in the middle somewhere. This is not a reflection of the quality of your persuasion skills.

You do not need 100% agreement to proceed. You do need the right critical people (e.g., probably your boss, or an oversight board).

You’ll be more persuasive if you accept responsibility for the outcome. People back-pedal from situations where they think it is going to fail and they’ll be held accountable. Match your convictions with the courage to accept responsibility. Most people are more likely to accept your idea.

(Note: This was originally posted on asmithblog.com in 2015)

Those of working in complex organizations have some things to learn from lichens. Let me first give you the biology lesson, then talk about how to apply this in organizational life.

Lichens are a composite organism of both fungal and algae (or cyanobacteria).  The algae cells are completely enclosed in the fungus layer like this:

They’re symbiotic; each part helps the whole organism.  The algae layer is photosynthetic, using the energy of sunlight to convert atmospheric carbon into useful sugars.  The fungus provides protection from dehydration, and more surface area to collect moisture and minerals.  Lichens have enormous variety and are found in every land environment on the planet – including some of the harshest environments where no other plant species survives.  Lichens thrive where neither algae nor fungus alone could survive. 

New species of lichens appear in nature regularly. Scientists have created lichen species in the lab.  The first in-lab creation of a lichen was done by Eugen Thomas in 1939. 

(Want to learn more? There’s a nice article on lichens available on Wikipedia.)

So what organizational lessons can we learn from lichens?

·         There is power and elegance in combining two things into an entirely new solution – a software service, a human process, a new market, even a new business model.

·         Lichens are successful because both entities contribute to success. 

·         “Lichen”-generating organizations can move into new (and often harsh) environmental niches that would not support either parent.

·         A symbiosis is a step-change opportunity, not an incremental improvement.

·         The diversity of lichens is astounding. 

·         “Lichen” opportunities can be engineered.

·         If one component (e.g., one software package) is not a full solution, perhaps it can be “lichen-ized” with another component to create a more successful solution.

Some years ago I listened to an Army Ranger commander speaking at our men’s group.  During the Q&A he was asked what one thing he would always take into a battle with the enemy.  He instantly responded, “My Ranger buddy who can carry me out when I get hit.”

I think the person asking the question was expecting the answer to be a weapon or tool, not a person.  I turned to my dad next to me and said, “When, not if.”  My dad nodded back.

No matter what your leadership role, you need trusted partners for your journey.  (Yes, there are necessary lonely moments in leadership.)  Develop relationships which matter by investing in people and sharing experiences. 

If you’ve been burned by trusting people, I encourage you to trust again.  The upside potential of generously trusting people is far larger than the downside risks.

It’s better to prevent problems than deal with crises, but all leaders must solve unexpected problems.  Here are a few things it took me 30 years to learn.

Some problems just never seem to get solved.  We talk about them repeatedly.  Another problem may hold our attention for a time, and then we circle back to the old problem. This is when you need to ask yourself this question: “Are we having the conversation we need to have, or the conversation we want to have?”

You’ll find that we often want to have conversations which by design can’t lead to a solution because:

·         We might be held accountable for a result

·         We don’t like the changes we ourselves would have to make

·         There is a long effort required before we would experience benefits

·         We would prefer to get the credit for a solution but don’t want to take any risks

·         It’s frankly more fun to complain about “them” or “that”

Stronger leaders move away from these “want to have” conversations to invest more time in “need to have” conversations.

A somewhat related theme is “Am I solving a problem or managing a tension?” Not everything is a problem that can be solved, especially when there are people involved and economic factors.  Instead, use the framework of managing a tension between different elements (methods, perspectives, modes). We get into serious trouble when we think that we are always solving a problem. 

Finally, a word when you are solving problems: Resist the temptation to create “big” solutions. Prefer to create solutions to a narrowly-defined problem. Poverty is a big problem. Finding more men willing to spend time with boys in struggling households in your immediate community is a narrowly-defined problem.

All your enemies want you distracted and unfocused.

The first step is learning to recognize what is a distraction, and what should be your focus.  A wise man told me years ago to change my language from “I’m too busy to ____” to “I’m not prioritizing ____ now.”  For example, “I’m too busy to finish my book on Anger” is actually “I’m not prioritizing my book on Anger now.”  This does two things for you.  First, it’s easier to identify what deserves focus and energy.  Second, you’ll recognize when you’re making excuses, and excuses are often lies we tell ourselves.

We’re quick to blame externals for distracting us. The uncomfortable truth is that we’re distracted because in the moment it is preferable to what we should be focusing on.  Being distracted begins with our unsettled emotional state.

Next, settle in your mind WHY you want to build strong powers of concentration.  Given enough time I can get a basketball through the hoop.  But can I do it in the crucial seconds of a basketball game, with a defender in my face?  The goal of practicing in ways which sharpen your focus and sustained concentration is the ability to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.  We should want to be that mature man or woman.

Here are practices which begin with you:

Reading hard material – especially books – builds your focus muscles.  Distracting thoughts will surface. Keep a notepad handy to jot down an idea or question, then set it aside for follow-through later. 

Meditation focused on your breathing.  Apps like Headspace and Oak are a big help to develop this practice.

Memorize verses, poems, song lyrics, and paragraphs from books or speeches.  Successful memorization requires repetition and intensity which build focus power.

“Keep your butt in the chair.”  This was the best advice my major professor gave me in grad school when I was struggling to finish my dissertation.  Set a timer for 20 or 30 minutes (increase to 90 minutes as you’re able), put it where you can’t see it, and work until it goes off.  When you feel distracted or antsy, preach to yourself: “I am doing this now.”  Many people are successful using the Pomodoro technique to structure work and breaks.

Pick a game or sport or skill that’s hard but has a satisfying outcome.  As you practice it and get frustrated, resist-resist-resist the temptation to stop.  For example, a few months ago I started doing Sudoku puzzles.  I can do the medium and hard puzzles now but I must sustain my concentration for 20+ minutes.  They start out fine, then I will struggle for a while in the middle without making much progress.  This is a good struggle. I’m building my ability to concentrate through an uncomfortable stretch.

There are also opportunities to practice within the events of the day:

Dull meeting or presentation?  Intentionally focus on the content with the goal of being able to reproduce it yourself.  Or consciously decide how you would do it better, or build on what’s been shared.  Imagine yourself doing this with a group of people later.

Have only one window open (or at least only one visible) when working online.  You’re wired to be attracted by movement and changes in the adjacent spaces.  

Exercise without the help of music.  This enhances your ability to manage your own rhythms be more aware of your internals. Press forward through the “it hurts I want to stop” phase using your mental toughness. 

Waiting?  Work systematically through all your senses – sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell – to be fully present in the moment.

I hope you find these helpful for building up your strength and maturity.

The primary definition of a vice is an immoral or degrading practice or habit.  Today I want to discuss the secondary definition: “a fault, a negative character trait, a defect, an infirmity, or a bad or unhealthy habit.”

You’ll frequently hear language about strengths and weaknesses.  That’s appropriate for polite company.  You can find abundant advice about building on your strengths and mitigating weaknesses.

When you’re in serious self-talk, categorize them as vices – those habits which limit your growth & productivity, which are poor responses to fear or boredom. 

When you name them harshly, you’re more likely to take action to stop them. Be harder on yourself than others will be.

Isaac Newton exploited his quarantine from the 1665-1666 London plague to work on his magnum opus, Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica, in which he codified laws of motion.  His third law states:

“When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body.”

This law is also true in a general way about human behavior.  When you raise your voice or vigorously push an idea, people naturally tend to raise their own voice, push back, raise defensive shields.  Returning like for like is rarely a long-term solution, and often escalates tensions.  This is why we have ancient wisdom such as the proverb, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

In processes, business models, even government models, if your mindset is “destroy” or “disrupt,” you’ve instantly stimulated an equal and opposite force.  People will be motivated to disrupt you back.  You will find yourself facing greater complexity than before.  You engender bitterness and resentment.

It’s healthier and more productive to adopt the mindset of “transform.”  All change is difficult. There will be resistance factors for all changes because the status quo has significant power.  Focus your transforming efforts to create value that others recognize – faster, cheaper, simpler, more effective. 

(Note: HT to Dan Sullivan and Perry Marshall who have published notes on this concept.)

What do you do when evidence surfaces that you were wrong, you believed something in error, you were fooled or conned?

The two most common behaviors:

• Double-down on the original belief. “I didn’t follow an unscrupulous leader, she’s a genius and most people simply can’t see that.”  “That threat wasn’t a hoax – our proactive steps meant it didn’t happen.”
• Rationalize that the blame lies entirely with others. “There’s no way I could have known that Nobel Prize winner in physics didn’t understand the gold market.”  “He is PMI certified, so it’s not my fault that he ran the project into the ground.”

The least common behavior?  Honest assessment based on facts, evidence, and outcomes – to purpose to be better next time.

I don’t have a consistent explanation for our frequent refusal to acknowledge we need to change something in ourselves.

Permission to be blunt?  Grow up.  Be the leader who acknowledges an error in judgment or being fooled.  Own your part. Learn from your experiences – there is always an adventure of learning and adapting if you’re willing to take it.  Model this for others.

The concept of balance is over-rated. I’m hard-pressed to imagine a single person who consistently lived a “balanced” life the way it’s described in the popular literature today: constant peace (meaning lack of internal conflict), equal amounts of action & rest, work & leisure, consumption & production. That’s a fantasy approaching utopia.

The biology of infants learning to walk is instructive here. All the sensing systems in our body are designed to report the degree of off-balance and the direction. Learning to walk is learning to use the appropriate muscles to push back in the opposite direction of that sensory input. We learn to match the “You’re falling towards the left” signal with the group of muscles to contract that will pull us back towards the right.

You can see a toddler wildly swinging from side to side. Or when someone is learning to ride a bike.  After some experience walking and bike riding become a nearly unconscious process of small movements. You and I are doing what the toddler was doing but it’s been decades since we noticed. Our muscles are making a thousand micro-adjustments an hour, all without conscious thought. As we approach our old age this “wobble” walk balance becomes a noticeable problem again.

Instead of “balance,” we need to think and evaluate ourselves on foundations and rhythms. What are your foundational principles and regular practices to keep you grounded? What are your rhythms of work and rest, creating and consuming, listening and speaking, being alone and being together? Pay attention to these matters rather than trying to measure “balance.”