“Watch the knife, not the hand. The knife can be in either hand.” This advice saved me from serious injury once in a street fight in Cleveland.
I had also absorbed other lessons about fighting:
- The movement of the belt buckle (about the location of a person’s center of gravity) tells you where their body is moving to, not their arm or leg motions.
- Don’t fixate on a feint; keep your attention soft overall so you see all the attacks coming.
- Deflecting a blow to miss you by an inch is as useful as a yard and takes much less energy.
- High kicks look good on film but dangerously expose you.
- Protect your head. You can take a lot of shots to the body but even a weak head shot will take you out of the fight.
- Once you’ve determined you can’t avoid the fight, fight to win. Only losers think “fight fair.”
Let’s pivot to organizational dynamics. The fundamental rule: Listen to words, but watch behaviors to understand what’s really going on.
I do not advocate unethical behavior. Inside ethical behavior, be wise to power patterns used consciously and unconsciously by people around you.
For example, everyone will publicly support certain programs and initiatives. No one openly criticizes the king or queen, or their decisions – that’s reserved for private and “safe” conversations. But their behavior will tell you the extent of their agreement. Watch the pattern where senior leaders push subordinates into roles and responsibilities associated with someone’s pet project, often labeling it “delegation” or “development.” Though that’s often true, they’ve also usefully created a political cutout if something goes awry. I knew a man who always ensured someone else was directly responsible for doing the work, so that problems and criticism rarely tracked back to him.
Another common pattern: A leader suggests delegating the responsibility to a more junior person inside your group rather than hers, thereby keeping her group focused on preferred work. This is usually accompanied by significant flattery and praise for the capabilities of said person. Protect your team’s interests, while also saying Yes well. Be generous and willing to help, while carefully avoiding being dumped on because you weren’t willing to say No or suggest an alternative. I know a man on university tenure track who checked his generous impulses by stating, “I can only accept 1 big and 1 small committee assignment in the academic year.”
A third pattern: Smiling, warm comments in the leader meeting, followed by complete lack of attention or follow-through. If you (as a peer) bring it up again, they’ll say, “Oh yeah, we need to work on that,” and … nothing happens. They might do something with limited energy if/when the senior leader brings up the topic again.
Recognizing the patterns helps your effective leadership posture: Working generously but not foolishly, understanding underlying agendas and competing priorities. Listen to words, but watch behaviors to understand what’s really going on.
