I almost always dislike trying new things, or doing something for the first time.
I love to eat familiar foods, but am not adventurous. When I’m in situations where it would “rude” not to eat something I employ the missionary prayer, “Lord, I’ll put it down if you keep it down.” This does not help my digestion.
I get anxious traveling to places I haven’t been before.
I don’t like playing new games against experienced players, because I don’t like looking like an idiot.
I start many things privately but give up before going public with them.
I’ve tried a few times with things like piano, learning Spanish, sketching – and quit because I’m not good instantly and everything feels awkward and difficult.
I experience a strong compulsion to change the topic when a conversation wanders into an area I know little about.
I can think of only a handful of times I liked a surprise.
Indeed, I’m loaded up with limiting behaviors. See how every item started with “I”? That shows part of the problem – being overly self-focused!
I shared this list with a colleague recently and she was floored. “But you write books! You’ve been all over the world! People think you’re brave.” All nice to hear, of course, but mostly proof that I’m a modestly good actor.
The discipline for me, and perhaps for you, too, is to act in spite of my initial preferences. The joy on the “other side” is worth discomfort now.
The place I have the most opportunity for growth is to stick with important new things long enough to get good. I need to get through the awkward stage by reframing it as a natural part of skill development. I need to stop letting myself off the hook with excuse after excuse – training, not trying.
