Wisdom is difficult to define in a narrow way. It’s helpful to think about wisdom as the intersection of boldness and gentleness:
Boldness is being assured, confident, moving forward in the face of risks. Bold people step out and stand out. Boldness is not recklessness or rashness because it is thoughtful. Boldness requires deep situational awareness and tempered judgment. When we think of boldness we think of words like brave, courageous, gutsy, dauntless, fearless, gallant, heroic, lionhearted, manful, stalwart, honor, and valiant. History shows time and again that bold actions often galvanize others into action and bring new resources into the situation. The Romans said, “Fortuna favors the bold.” Boldness is superior to timidity in every instance, but it is not necessarily immediate action. Sometimes boldness is watchful waiting.
Gentleness is strength under control. Gentleness is not softness. Gentleness is not ambiguous or amorphous. Gentleness is not weakness. The process of taming a wild horse is called gentling; the horse is every bit as strong as before, but now under control. The mother who sings softly for hours for a colicky infant is being gentle. The fireman who heaves the child safely through the window to another fireman on the ladder to escape the burning apartment building is being gentle. The man who refuses to be bullied, responding in an even voice, is being gentle. A great knight was a warrior who could resolve an issue while keeping his deadly sword sheathed.
Every parent knows that children are not born with reservoirs of self-control. Self-control is learned. Self-mastery is a lifetime adventure.
The process of a boy becoming a man is partially about learning to be gentle, to become strong and to use strength well. Girls becoming women also learn to master their strengths for noble purposes. Adult bullies and childish brats of any age use strength without control.
Boldness and gentleness together are the vehicles of wisdom, expressing itself. Boldness and gentleness work together for good. Nothing of lasting value happens without boldness. Boldness apart from gentleness leads to tyranny. Boldness and gentleness check each other’s worst tendencies and support one another.
Loved the article and shared with my kids. It helped me point out to them not to be afraid to bare their vulnerability and human-ness. They related it to the Cinderella movie incidentally. 🙂
Thanks.
Thanks, Ankita! I’m glad you found it helpful. You’re right — many of our story heroes are both bold and gentle!