I explicitly don’t write on contemporary politics because a gazillion others will do that for you, and because it’s depressing. Watching the kabuki theatre of US national political leadership ‘debates’ and ‘election campaigns’ puts me in an Irish mood of seeking cynical humor rather than breaking down crying or raging at the foolishness.
So much is outside my control. And yours. There is a dark motivation in certain news and political organizations to overwhelm you, so you’re paralyzed and give up.
We must focus on our self-control and self-leadership rather than bemoaning “Where are the leaders? Where is competence?” and passively hoping for the right ‘someone’ will fix things. (I’ve joked that we should have named our two children “Someone” and “Somebody Else” because they would always have work.)
Last week I quoted Gandalf: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” I see an important and strengthening insight there. We’re gifted the time. We’re gifted these times. There is purpose and meaning in gifts. Draw courage from this.
Perhaps “The Time that Is Given Us” is a good book title.
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What does being a leader, in your sphere of influence, in the times given us, look like?
It means grounding yourself first thing, every day, with your true self and calling. It means standing firmly on what you advocate. It means speaking and acting in ways to make it clear where you are headed.
Preaching to myself, you’re welcome to listen: If you don’t speak up, perhaps no one will. It’s best to assume that no one else will say what you’re going to say. So say it.
There are so many times when I should have spoken up and didn’t. Times when I should have unleashed my talents and abilities, and didn’t. Times when I allowed myself to be distracted from my calling. Times when I’ve been afraid of the consequences of my calling, and Jonah-like, went the opposite direction.
I share this so you understand why I must preach to myself.
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I want you to become charismatic. Charisma is the quality that others find compelling and psychologically attractive. Charisma in practical terms is projecting the powerful combination of confidence and love, as perceived by others. You can and should be charismatic to others, within your sphere of influence. It may only be a small group of individuals, or perhaps only in certain situations. What’s significant is that people sense your hope, optimism, and steadfastness. Your charisma empowers others and caps the power of fears and wickedness.
I reject the silly notions that charisma is only for a few, the elite, the anointed. It’s entirely possible for you to be charismatic. And needful.
(Sidebar: I’m not referring to a specific style of religious worship, or the Christian theological term specific to the Holy Spirit. Charisma comes to English from the Greek charis, which means ‘gift.’ In Greek mythology Charis was one of the attendants of Aphrodite.)
The love expressed here is neither romantic nor dispassionate. Love is wanting the best for others. Most people have an intuitive sense of whether you want their best, or only want something from them. I suspect that my readers truly do want the best for others. When we’re with unlovely and harder-to-love people, we remind ourselves that we love because God first loved us. (1 John 4:19) The ‘love’ part of charisma isn’t their shortfall.
I speak with so many people who struggle with confidence. I get it, I do too. Being confident and expressing it consistently is a battle. I recommend you act your way into belief. You can’t wait until all your feelings are perfectly aligned. Accept your personal responsibility in doing this work.
The intellectual part of your confidence comes from appreciating the data available. We have many reasons to be confident, even in uncertain times. Review Our World in Data when you need tangible reminders of how much better the world is now, and the progress we’re making. We live in an amazing world. Skip the “headline news” for a day and focus on stories of people helping other people. Spend time in the natural world to refresh your senses. https://ourworldindata.org/
The ‘gut’ part of your confidence comes from appreciating the story of our lives. I remind myself and others that the view out the windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror. We always have the power of choice. We have been given time and talents. There is good work to be done, especially in our relationships. Life has meaning, and we have purpose. Challenging situations make us better. We are the descendants of a great “cloud of witnesses” who met their challenges and found ways forward, and so will we.
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Project your confidence and love to your sphere of influence. Say what needs to be said. Assume that if you don’t, no one will. That’s your leadership opportunity. Yes, speak with grace. Yes, lead with actions not just words. But speak!
One of the themes of Antifragile is that preventing suffering, challenges, wild swings up and down, and consequences of choices is that systems become weaker rather than stronger. This is true in economics, education, politics, and in our own bodies.
Push yourself a little more these days, rather than always retreating to comfort. We need you to be stronger, better, more seasoned.
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“But Glenn, you’ve studied history, you know how dangerous charismatic leaders can be!”
Charisma is dangerous. These times call for a bit of dangerous.
Charisma won’t get far without focused will. I’ve known some remarkably charismatic people who never accomplished much and disappointed everyone because they couldn’t stay focused on a few primary things. Let us focus our will on honorable and worthy things.
Temper the naked power of charisma to persuade others to do things, even against their better judgment, by remaining humble. Humility is foundational to all leadership. The English word ‘humility’ comes from humus in Latin – literally, “dirt.” I’ll share my little mantra:
You are not God. This is not your universe.
You are not your own god.
You’re finite. You’re a tiny bit of the physical world, and a blip in time. You will die.
You don’t know the Whole Story.
You are wonderfully fashioned and have a purpose.
You have a duty to use well all you’ve been given, and not for your glory.
You have significant responsibilities, but not for the whole world.
You are privileged to get to live in the times you’ve been given.
I want you to be charismatic, with a will tempered by self-control and noble purposes, grounded in humility. That’s the leadership we need now.
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Let me help you in one more way. Everyone is afraid. It’s not just you. But you can be the person who does the right and hard thing anyway.
