A younger colleague of mine asked for advice on how to give feedback to her boss. “Do I ask for permission to give her feedback first, or just give it to her?” We don’t have a strong culture of feedback here,” she added.
My advice to her was simple and straightforward: “You don’t give feedback to your boss.” Feedback is from the supervisor down. I strongly recommend the Manager Tools model for giving both positive and negative feedback.
Use a different approach instead. Don’t use the word “feedback,” because that is likely to trigger a defensive “force fields up!” reaction.
Ask this question to lead off: “May I share an observation with you?”
It’s an open question, unthreatening, potentially very helpful. The absolute worst response you can get is “Could we talk later? I don’t have time just now.”
When she says “Yes” share an observation which is factually based on observable behaviors. Then you can add something about feelings, impressions, opportunities, concerns sparked by that observable behavior. Emphasize the opportunity to do something different (a behavior, right?) in the future.
Examples:
“May I share an observation with you? In our last two group meetings Jim didn’t speak up at all, even about Project X that he is driving. He’s naturally introverted so maybe the rest of us need to invite him to participate in the discussion.”
“May I share an observation with you? This is the second month that management delayed the start of hiring to fill our open position, without explanation. Could you share the reasoning with me?”
“May I share an observation with you? You didn’t include any reference to the concerns I shared about implementing this new software in your message to the team. This seems like a replay of the concerns I shared about the new inventory system. This makes me wonder if you don’t think my concerns are significant. Can we talk more this?”
“May I share an observation with you? All the productivity savings from last year were treated as pure cost-savings, rather than opportunities to spend money another way within our operation. Is there a way to do this differently this year?
Don’t give your boss feedback. Share observations.
Even before you do that you need to have proven yourself as a very dependable employee.