We had a running joke in my competitive grad school program: “Half of us have impostor syndrome, and the other half don’t know what the hell we’re doing.” I remember multiple times feeling like everyone was about to discover I was an incompetent, ignorant fraud. The same thing happened several times in my early career at Pioneer – I’d have this sensation of being 9 years old in oversized clothes, cluelessly sitting at the adult table while they’re asking for my solution to a world-shattering problem!
Let’s define imposter syndrome, and then talk about how you can effectively work through it.
From Wikipedia:
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally.
Nearly everyone I’ve asked will admit to impostor syndrome, though usually in the long-distant past, because it’s hardly safe to say “Yes, I experienced it just this morning.”
My suggestion for leaders: Gently appreciate that everyone on your team experiences some degree of impostor syndrome at least occasionally.
The best way to help others through it is to build them up, honor their engagement and contributions, and frequently remind them of their importance to the larger effort of your organization. When they express doubts in themselves give them reasons for your confidence and optimism. Encourage them to get help or practice where they truly don’t know what they should know to be effective. Mark out when and where they fall short of expectations, and always in a way that points to their ability to do better the next time. Celebrate when people are well-prepared (rather than procrastinate and then perform poorly). People will give more of what gets celebrated. You can even say privately, “See, you did well in spite of your doubts.”
Now let’s pivot to your impostor syndrome. That’s much harder to conquer.
The positive benefit of impostor syndrome is that it shows we want to do well, and for others to think well about us. [I acknowledge there are psychopaths who wield imposter syndrome as a weapon; that’s not you.] Be grateful for this positive core.
The challenge is to effectively work through all the ways impostor syndrome limits your ability to contribute. Here are a few tips:
- Impostor syndrome thrives in the abstract, “what-if” realm. Taking action, even small actions, weakens it.
- Imposter syndrome fears being laughed at by others, so crush it by laughing at yourself first. It’s ok to have an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, especially in new situations. I have learned to chuckle at my mistakes and errors, and remind myself that it’s ok to both be silly and to learn from it.
- Impostor syndrome must have something to compare to – those super people who have more IQ, experience, panache, style, and granite-guts than you do. Impostor syndrome insists you compare yourself only to how you think those people are, not as they are, and certainly not as they were when they were in a new situation.
- Impostor syndrome insists you believe that key people around you are thinking about you all the time. Reality check: other people think about you far less than you expect them to think about you, partially because we’re consumed with thinking about ourselves.
- Impostor syndrome wants you think that you are the only person in the room experiencing these doubts. Untrue. See the encyclopedia entry for “human being.”
- Remember that “faking your way through it” actually works much of the time. Even a forced smile changes your neurochemistry. Standing tall helps your blood pressure and breathing. You learned to walk as a toddler, and you learned to do pretty much everything you know despite the fact that you were a “fraud” before. Most of the inventions that undergird civilization started as experimental faking-till-they-made-it.
- Impostor syndrome is only happy when you tell yourself a negative, fearful narrative. Remind yourself that you have a lot to offer and if you don’t offer it, you’re robbing the world.
- Impostor syndrome loves loneliness. Surround yourself with people who help you bring out you. Seek positive feedback environments.
What else has been helpful for you?
