I’ve often coached leaders that they have positional authority, but it should be the last tool to come out of their toolbox. Use all your tools of relationship, engagement, and persuasion before you get down to “I’m the boss, do X.”
There’s a related skill leaders should cultivate: in a conflict situation, allow the “loser” options to save face.
Sun Tzu advised military commanders to always allow the enemy an option to retreat, unless you needed to utterly destroy them. An enemy force with no retreat option will fight more ferociously because they have nothing to lose.
Teddy Roosevelt developed the big stick diplomacy model after his famous statement, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” The model had 5 parts:
- Possess superior military capability
- Act justly towards all nations
- Never bluff
- Strike only when prepared to strike hard
- Allow a defeated enemy to save face
Your organization is not about warfighting or geopolitics, but there is still a lesson for intra-organization conflict: the best leaders allow the “defeated” party to save face.
