I can fall asleep quickly almost anytime, anywhere. (It’s the only positive to serious apnea.) One of two things happen when I wake up in the quiet of the night and can’t quickly return to sleep. One: My brain kicks into gear and starts working on immediate problems of the day and week. Two: I replay difficult experiences from my past, pondering what they meant, what might have been done or said differently, what I learned.
A pattern I’ve observed about experiencing difficult circumstances:
You learn things you didn’t expect, and couldn’t have planned for.
I listen to someone recount
- the grinding struggle of a serious illness (for them or a relative or friend)
- the ugly endurance run of a business decline, or project failure, or divorce
- a time when long-cherished dreams were vaporized
- a miserable job or work situation.
They describe what they learned and it’s rarely directly about the events. Instead, they highlight a realization about themselves, describe how they changed, or illustrate a deeper aspects of life in an imperfect world.
Our difficult experiences become parables to explain something deep to others. (This is partly why I seek out articulate older people – they can share this depth in a way I can appreciate.)
All the genuine learning you’ll treasure decades from now comes from times when you (willingly or not) were outside your comfort zone. History gives no reason to believe you’ll escape difficulties; you will go through difficult times. Beyond these, seek adventures. Don’t be foolish or reckless, but take calculated risks. The learning opportunities are worth the costs.
