It happens, and it’s incredibly frustrating: You’ll occasionally have a weak boss.
I say “weak bosses” rather than “bad bosses” because in most situations the issue is about managerial inexperience and incompetence, rather than malice. (Malice happens, but it’s rare.) Hanlon’s Razor says, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by foolishness.” Weakness represents immaturity, lack of skill, and sometimes unprofessionalism. It’s not weak for your manager to have high expectations, to give you feedback on your performance, and to give you increased responsibility.
Here are the foundational ideas you need to effectively work with a weak boss:
- Seek first to understand. Remember the iceberg only shows 10% above the waterline. What else is going on? What are hidden drivers, larger context that might explain some behaviors or decisions?
- Choose to be professional. Act with gentleness (strength under control) and respect. Don’t take things personally, and don’t make things personal. Be appropriately subordinate to position authority in your organization. Be supportive without being a sycophant. Ask questions and give suggestions without complaining.
- Distinguish working styles and competence. Adapt your leadership and followership styles to match the needs of the organization and the situation.
- Learn even from poor examples. Take notes about what you would do differently. Document concerns in case the time comes for a review of difficult or unprofessional behavior – framing these in terms of respect for people, and what’s best for the organization.
- Be wary about “going around” your boss, or “over their head.” Don’t feed insecurity and paranoia of a weak boss by amplifying the appearance of being subversive or divisive.
- Think ‘team.’ Protect others if they’re being bullied or mistreated.
- Be intellectually persuasive, but don’t try manipulating your boss into doing what you think is right.
| Common patterns of weak bosses | How you can respond |
| Abstract, non-specific vision | Make compelling proposals; lead from your position |
| Favoritism | Soldier on, do your best, be wary of comparison traps which waste your energy and focus |
| Narcissistic blame-shifters | Remember these individuals are filled with fears & insecurities; they’re smaller on the inside than the outside. |
| Control freaks, credit hoarders | Do the right thing; the universe has its ways to make the truth known |
| Indecisive, unwilling to take measured risks | Help them frame decisions. Take some responsibility yourself. Find ways to mitigate risks. |
| Lack technical savvy in your area | Educate them against B.S. so at least they’re less likely to be fooled by bad ideas |
| Ideologues, not realistic | Respectfully bring forward facts and help them see 2nd-order consequences |
| Unprofessional behaviors | Respond 1:1, take notes, understand that HR might need to be engaged |
| Limited toolbox, inflexible, “one trick pony” | Offer alternatives |
| Easily frustrated, take things personally | Use deep breathing to remain calm, maintain emotional distance. Explore how to present information and suggestions in ways that are less likely to ‘trigger’ a poor reaction. |
| Insecure, fearful | Present ways to reduce risks and avoid problems |
| Live in the ‘glory days’ of the past | Learn from their stories, but lean into the future |
| Politically naïve, no relationship power | Strengthen your own strategic network |
| Focused on surface, not substance | Tactfully describe causes of effects, look for ways to solve underlying problem sources |
| Disengaged, inattentive, uncurious | Document your deliverables. Don’t give up on your own learning plans. |
The benefit of a weak boss is that you have even more opportunities to get better. Help your boss get better, serve the organization as best you can, and learn what not to do.
