You hear it and of course you nod in agreement: “People need mentoring.”
(I’m writing now to experienced people who have the potential to mentor a less experienced person. I’ll save “how to approach someone to mentor you” for another time. Even the most experienced people still need mentors.)
So why doesn’t mentoring happen more? I observe several reasons:
- People like the abstract idea of mentoring, but not actual conversations. We need more mature people who think highly of helping real individuals around them.
- Fear: People think it’s a risk to their own job if they help someone else improve their skills.
- Misplaced humility: “Me, mentor? I’m a mess, I’m still learning, I’ve made so many mistakes, I’m not qualified.”
- Misunderstanding the process: Thinking mentoring is all about telling, rather than mostly asking questions and conversations over time.
- Arrogance: “I can tell them what to do, and they’ll look up to me!”
- Waiting for someone to give you a program on exactly what to say and do.
- Confusing mentoring with teaching and coaching. Teaching is about giving someone information or a skill they didn’t have before. Coaching is helping some improve a skill they already have. Mentoring is more life on life – it’s about exploring questions and concerns you can’t answer with a Google search. We all need all three.
- Failing to create time and space for mentoring conversations to happen.
Did you see yourself in there anywhere? If so, what will you do about it?
