“Should I Stay or Should I Go?” was a hit song by
the Clash in 1981, and it’s a common question today. You’re not the only one calculating your stay
vs. leave equation. There is no
formula. It’s not as a simple as a
pro/con exercise because there are heart issues and probabilities. If art is science with more than seven
variables, this question qualifies as art!
I will give you a set of questions that can help you decide
– and hard-won advice. Think of this
exercise as scenario planning coupled with an honest self-dialog about who you
are and what you need.
Questions to Explore
for Yourself
Am I more running away
from the current job, or running towards a new opportunity? Knowing where you fall on that spectrum, and
why, is helpful.
Am I mostly bored? If that’s a big part of why you don’t like
your current situation, then is a new/different job the only option?
Am I fleeing a toxic
work environment? It’s easy to
justify a change from a soul-sucking miserable situation that daily fills you
with dread. It’s important to ask yourself how much of that toxicity is on
yourself and your behaviors. We bring
ourselves into new roles, with all our strengths and weaknesses. Keep in mind that some stressors are going to
be in another role, too.
An old Quaker man lived at the edge of his village. He would greet newcomers as they arrived. When asked “How are the people here in your village?” he would ask in turn, “How were the people in the village you’re coming from?” If they said, “Oh, they were wonderful, and we were sorry to leave!” he would reply, “You will find it the same here.” And if they said, “Oh, they were horrible to us and we were thrilled to leave!” he would reply, “Sadly, it will be much the same here.”
Am I evaluating my
full range of choices? This is a starting view on the range, you might have
others:
Re-energize, re-skill in my current role
Take a different role in my same organization
Take a similar role in a different organization
Take an entirely different role in a different
organization
Go independent, or start a new business
Retire and focus on other priorities
What is the realistic
growth potential of the other job? Does it position you for a new growth
curve? Expanded or different network of
people and capabilities? Does a
different location create new experiences? Is this potential growth enough to compensate
for the challenge of transitioning?
Will this (current or
new) job force a relocation or difficult move that is unacceptable to my
family? Family needs are real, and
professionals are responsible people.
Am I able to be
successful in my current job as I expect it to go forward? Why or why not? Has something changed that
will clearly make it more difficult to be successful in the future? Sometimes you may choose to move on before a
role changes, to avoid a scenario where you won’t be successful.
It is just one person
I don’t want to work with, just part of my current role, or the whole job? There are ways to mitigate the negative
impact of a single person. Nearly all
jobs have requirements we don’t especially like.
Am I still learning? Limited learning potential is a good reason
to consider a change. Most people believe that learning new things is crucial
for happiness. Professionals are always concerned about continuing development.
There are seasons of life when a big
learning curve is too difficult because of what else is going on in your
life. I know several instances where a
person was adamant about leaving out of frustration, and we counseled staying
in a role because they had more to learn.
In every case the “universe” made sure they were immediately faced with
the same learning challenge in their new role.
Am I ready for a much
larger role, with more/broader responsibilities? Honesty counts here. If you’re unsure, get insights from a trusted
mentor. Stretch roles are good for
you. Overconfidence is a precursor to a
humbling.
Am I overly concerned
with what something thinks of me, or what I should do? This covers a lot of territory but ponder it.
Don’t over-weight one person’s opinion
in your equation.
Is there a halo effect
making this new job look better? Growing up in West Virginia we used to say,
“The grass is greener over the septic tank.” Your starting boss may not be your
boss for long. Your initial assignment
could morph into another priority. The
“brochure” view you saw when you interviewed may not be reality.
How much of my success
is related to my institutional knowledge and network of relationships in my
current role, and how much do I “take with me” into a new opportunity? Be
sober about the challenges of starting anew – you won’t have a deep personal
network inside that organization, and need to learn all the new procedures,
expectations, and acronyms. Many people
overestimate their ability to get things done in a different situation.
Finally, What’s the
delta on the money and benefits? These
are real issues, but I put this question last because many people make poor
decisions by fixating on the money issues.
Who you are is more important to your happiness than what you have. Make
a realistic assessment of the stability and assets your family needs. There are raises or salary reductions, and
compensating factors like lower or higher expenses. Benefits are particularly important for your
dependents.
Hard-won Advice
Only discuss options with people who love you and want
what’s best for you. Don’t talk with
your current boss about anything that sounds like leaving until you have a
plan. Seek wisdom from mentors. Pray and meditate – you need a deep sense of
affirmation on your chosen direction.
It’s easier to get a job when you have a job. The best advice is to apply/interview/accept
a new job before you resign from your current position. A good exception case is if you’re asked to do
something unethical.
You don’t have to accept an offer. Often you won’t know the full money/benefits
picture until the offer comes, and sometimes that is the deal-breaker.
You probably feel a high level of responsibility to people,
programs, and unfinished projects. Think
about what milestones would help you feel better about closure. On people issues, distinguish between
“responsible for” and “responsible to.”
Above all, remember that you do not owe your soul to this organization.
Take steps to be better prepared for a new role in the
future:
Build up an emergency fund so that you and your
family can weather a transition time without pay (and if you’re moving, often
increased expenses).
Continue to work on your professional
development
Monitor for new opportunities
Create a relationship with a job recruiter
Strengthen your personal and professional
network
Watch your organizations for signs of impending
downturns and strategic shifts which could affect your position
The decision to leave a job and take a different opportunity
is rarely fatal. Neither is choosing to stay longer in a role. It’s less about making the “wrong” decision
and more about understanding the options and potential of one scenario vs.
another.
Recommended resources
Manager Tools has published multiple podcasts which can help
you in job transitions. Go to
manager-tools.com and search for podcasts on
How to resign
The last 90 days
The first 90 days
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Glenn Brooke is the author of the soon-coming book, “Bold
and Gentle: Living Wisely in an Age of Exponential Change.” This article is adapted from one of the
chapters.
Learn more at https://encouragingpress.com
Professionals take responsibility for their own development
You can’t rest on what you know, or your past
experiences. The world is moving, so you
need to continue to sharpen your existing skills. The world is evolving, so you need to master
new skills. In our VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous) world the
most important skill is the ability to master new capabilities.
I call this professional development, rather than the commonly used phrase “career development.” Professionalism is entirely within your control. You can take full responsibility and be happy to accept help when it is available. Professionals don’t expect their boss or their organization to “develop” them. Career prediction is impossible and impractical – there are too many variables you simply do not control.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Sidenote: The English word “career” comes from 14th century French, carere, which was a circular racetrack. We get the word “careen” from the same root. By contrast, the English word “vocation” comes from the Latin word vocare, which means “calling” or “voice.” In general, you should pursue a calling, rather than racing at top speed in circles.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
There are three
critical outcomes of professional development:
Increased effectiveness in your current role or
job. Status quo skills mean you’re falling behind.
Being prepared for opportunities as they
emerge. Many of the most interesting
roles and jobs for you don’t exist yet or aren’t available now. You want to be prepared when the time comes.
Joy in the journey! A common theme among people who are “burned
out” in a role is that they aren’t learning anything new.
Professional development doesn’t happen automatically, or by
osmosis. It takes commitment, energy,
work, and a disciplined approach. Reading this may inspire you, but you’ll need
to provide those yourself. You need an investor mindset looking for delayed
profits over months and years. I have a
friend who says that anyone can complete a marathon, because all they must do
is not stop. All professional
development is outside your comfort zone; autopilot work inside your comfort
zone requires zero learning. Professional development requires embracing the
difficult.
Too few people receive good instruction in how to manage
their professional development. This the
guidance I want you to absorb here. I’m
sharing what I’ve learned from my mentors and from personal experiences.
The domains of professional
development
There are three spheres of information and knowledge to
consider:
Executing your current work responsibilities and being prepared for expanding your current role.
Industry and competitors, and adjacent industries.
New-to-you individual skill and knowledge areas.
The general development domains for every professional
include:
Communication – structuring and framing, persuasion,
story-sharing and presentation, writing
Self and People leadership – seeking out
mentors, getting feedback, fundamental management practices
Program and project management
Analysis – data exploration, quantitative
methods, data presentation, asking superior questions
Build
your specific craft – your combination of learned skills and art to produce
something beautiful and useful – on top of these general skill domains. Stabilize your craft on long-lasting skills.
Keep pace with technical advances where the half-life of each skill is
shrinking.
Professionals strengthen relationships with people. Create plans to connect with industry
contacts and your personal network. Set
reminders to stay in touch. Share
generously with people in your network to feed relationships.
Learn about topics which interest you, even if they have
nothing to do with your current employment.
These give you satisfaction, energy, and ideas which help you stand out
from others. Many people well along in
their professions cite hobbies and interests which led to significant new
relationships and cross-fertilization of ideas.
Special Projects,
Sabbaticals, Internships, and Volunteer Organizations
Immersing yourself partly or wholly into a different work
situation is a powerful avenue to development.
The most common opportunities are special projects. You volunteer (or are “voluntold”) or asked
to help on project separate from your regular work. Pursue these opportunities! Say Yes as often as reasonable. It’s an
opportunity to use your existing skills in a new setting, improve your network,
learn from others, and stretch your experience further. Early in my career I was given powerful
advice: “Figure out how to do your regular job in 30 hours a week, then use
10-15 hours a week on other projects and learning new things.” It takes discipline to shrink your regular
work, but the payoffs are enormous.
Some roles, especially in academia, allow you a sabbatical –
a time every so many years to go off and work elsewhere for a period of
months. Exploit opportunities to fully
immerse yourself in a different environment, working with different people, on
something that fascinates you.
Internships are usually a formalized opportunity to work as a
“newbie” alongside experienced people.
This is a great format for when you want to try out a different kind of
work. It’s forced practice with feedback
built in. My observation is that internships can be hard
to engineer yourself; you usually have to wait for an organization to open up
internship opportunities.
Nearly all professionals can serve in a volunteer
organization. Charitable and religious
organizations, local associations, industry associations, and small business
boards of directors are always looking for help. These are powerful opportunities to use your
skills, sharpen your own capabilities, and help others in the process. You can demonstrate leadership and skills
outside of your regular work, which give you credibility to move into other
roles at your organization.
How much time should
you invest in professional development?
Most professionals are putting in 50 hours a week in their
job. Not every hour is effective, of
course, but let’s work with that number.
10% of 50 hours/week is 20 hours/month.
You can get an enormous amount of learning and practice into 20 hours if
you’re disciplined. This is the 10% that
makes the 90% much better! I recommend
you aim for 20 hours/month. Some months
might be less, but if you aim for 10 hours you’re more likely to get only 6 to
8.
If that time investment seems impossible, start with 2 hours
a week. A solid 2 hours a week is about
100 hours a year, more than enough for significant progress.
How to create a
learning plan for new information
A learning plan is focused on learning new information –
practice and feedback are important, too, but a learning plan is primarily
about expanding your base of information. Your brain has enormous capability;
some neurobiologists have estimated that a typical person could learn 7 facts
every second for 200 years!
Professionals take charge of their own learning
plans. They don’t wait around for someone else to define it for
them. Professionals solicit help from others to accomplish their learning
plans.
Use this four-step
process:
Decide
what you need and want to learn. (Imagine how knowing X will
help you in the future.)
Identify
sources of information.
Schedule
time to consume the information, study, and learn.
Assess
the results and update your plan for the next season of learning.
Easy-peasy! Naturally, I have some detailed recommendations
to add.
There are three spheres of information and knowledge to
consider as you decide what you need and want to learn:
Executing your current work responsibilities and being prepared for expanding your current role.
Industry and competitors, and adjacent industries.
New-to-you individual skill and knowledge areas.
Apply the 80/20 rule – focus 80% in your strength areas, 20%
in new areas. For the 80% of your effort, ask these two questions: What’s most
relevant to your primary occupation and interests? What are strengths you can
build upon by expanding your information base? Continuous learning in these
areas gives you depth.
Focus 20% of your learning plan in areas that are completely
different. This is your best strategy for developing breadth. What
could you learn about architecture, cooking, motorcycles, film editing, ice
sculpture, astrophysics, carpet manufacturing, 3D printing, etc. – areas which
are completely new to you? Most professionals do not give much thought to new
areas, and yet this information will seed tremendous growth in the future.
Cross-disciplinary awareness is a strong foundation for innovation.
You should also consider the long-term value
proposition. Knowing relevant industry
trends and keeping up with contacts is useful.
Step back to consider the big trends in your industry, or adjacent
industries. Some time and effort need to
go towards the unglamorous foundation material with long-term payoff.
The most common sources of information are:
Webinars,
teleconferences, podcasts, local group meetings
Formal
conferences and events
Personal
interviews with experts
Books,
magazines and blogs
Recognize your preferred modes of input and choose sources
accordingly for efficiency – you almost certainly are either a reader or
auditory learner. I read text much faster than I can listen, for example, but I
try to use audio and video materials to round out my reading.
In addition to the default approach that most of us have – a
Google search! — don’t overlook your local librarian. They are experts at
helping you find information and identify what’s most relevant to you. Also,
Amazon reviews are good for helping you figure out if something is at the right
level for your needs.
Additional comments on information sources:
Don’t
neglect Pre-Gutenberg books and writing.
Only the very best information was copied and preserved when it was so
expensive to do so.
Biographies
are an excellent source of insight about how to manage difficult situations and
people.
Video
is abundant now. TED talks are generally
excellent for introductions and insights.
Many universities and colleges are posting lectures from entire course
online.
Podcasts
are especially useful if you’re looking for interviews with experts in narrow
fields.
Industry
associations generally publish webinars, newsletters, and magazines. These are a great starting point to explore
industries other than your own.
Schedule time to
consume the information and learn! Nine times out of ten, what gets
scheduled gets done. Professionals block out time on the calendar for the
important, but not urgent work, including learning.
You may have trouble breaking down a lot of material into
“chunks” that fit your schedule. I encourage you to think “seasonally” and
“piecemeal.” For example, if you want to learn more about architecture, find a
book or some magazines in the field, and leaf through 2 chapters and one
magazine a week over 4-6 weeks. Don’t overcomplicate the process.
For longer learning topics, create smaller milestones around
focused areas. For example, shift your thinking from “get better at
presentations” to “identify ideas to help me open presentations better.” Frame your objectives as a means of
performing at a higher level consistently.
Your learning plan is a living document. I set up a task
reminder to update mine quarterly. I
find that 3 months is long enough for serious study but short enough I can’t
procrastinate.
A word of encouragement: You can do this. Don’t make
your learning plan too complicated. Pick one topic to learn about, find good materials,
and schedule time to work through it.
Acquiring New Skills
Quickly
Knowing stuff is useful, but there are also physical and
mental skills which are critical to professional success. Your learning plan supports the information
side of development. The physical and
mental skills require additional work.
The critical first step is to set a goal with a meaningful
purpose behind it. Make it clear and
concrete, so you can define what success looks like. “Fluency in a XYZ language” is too vague; “Be
able to carry on a 30 minute business conversation with a native Portuguese speaker
because I want to increase our business engagement in Brazil” is better.
Step two: Break down the skill into chunks. Deconstruct skills like you would break down
a large project into smaller parts.
Step three: Identify the 20% of the components give 80% of
the outcome value. For example, you can
significantly improve your formal sales presentations overall by focusing on
the start (e.g., the first 3 sentences and your body language) and the ask.
Step four: Focus your practice on one component of the skill
at a time. This maximizes the value from
your time. Study how professional sports
players practice most of the time – hours on fundamental, individual elements
of the whole game.
Celebrate your progress and accomplishments. Don’t allow any sense of “But I’m still bad
at X” to steal your joy and satisfaction from your concrete progress.
Pro tip: List all the reasons you might quit before you
reach your goal, or the excuses you’re most likely to give when you don’t
finish. It’s hard to master new skills
and especially awkward at the beginning.
Commit to not giving in for any of these reasons for your first 6
practice times.
Finally, the skill of acquiring new skills quickly and
efficiently is one of the most critical skills you can develop! Even an old dog can learn new tricks if he
knows how to learn them.
Applying what you
learn
My grandfather told me “You can’t never learn nothin’
worthless.” Though true, passively absorbing information has limits. Applying what you learn is key to learning
that makes a difference.
Create an external reality to hold yourself accountable for
results. I will often tell friends what I’m working on, and encourage them to
ask me about what I’m learning. Another tactic is to plan to teach someone else
about what you learn. Or write an article
or give a presentation to others. Force
yourself to use the information you’ve learned.
Take a few moments when you finish a learning block to
assess how well it went. Were you satisfied with your effort? What should you
do differently next time? Are there materials that you can pass along to
others? I often find that I surfaced new things I want to learn about and make
notes about those interests for future learning plans.
Dealing effectively
with challenges
The best of plans can grind to a halt on the shoals of everyday
life. Professionals find ways to keep moving forward.
Falling behind
schedule? Yesterday doesn’t
matter. Today is a new day. Pick up and begin again.
Starting too late? It’s never too late for learning and
development. The best time to plant an
oak tree was 20 years ago, and the next best time is today.
Lost interest? Re-energize by picking something that
interest you, and pivot to that to regain momentum.
Not being supported? Excuses are lies we tell ourselves. Your
professional development is on you. Find
people who will support you.
Bit off more than you
can chew? We often overestimate what
can be done in a short time, and wildly underestimate how much we can
accomplish over a year or 3 years.
Steady work yields its fruit in time.
Professionals approach development as a continuing journey
of getting better. That self-image helps
pull you along, because we do what we believe we are.
Recommended
Resources:
The First 20 Hours (Josh Kaufman) – core practices for rapid skill
acquisition.
How to Read a Book (Mortimer Adler) – classic advice from a Master
learner. I observe that most people extract
very little from books because they view reading as a passive activity.
Ultralearning (Scott Young) – a guide to the practices that can
help you master languages and complex fields of knowledge in short times. The section on how to break down a topic into
learnable chunks is especially good.
The Art of Learning (Josh Waitzkin) – a child chess prodigy,
Waitzkin went on to master several other disciplines and has thought deeply
about reproducible means of mastering new skills.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Glenn Brooke is the author of the soon-coming book, “Bold
and Gentle: Living Wisely in an Age of Exponential Change.” This article is adapted from one of the
chapters.
Learn more at https://encouragingpress.com
Gentlefolk, 2020 budget conversations have already
begun. As Ted Plush taught many of us, “Even when they say it’s not about
the money…it’s about the money.”
Here are my tips about building and monitoring budgets, each
learned through painful (and embarrassing) mistakes.
Building budgets and getting approval
Understand all the categories and what’s included in each. Watch for occasional changes from the previous year.
When asked for a budget proposal, go in with your high plan and have a smaller plan in your pocket. This is the correct strategy for both capital and operating requests.
Be able to defend every line item. Tie budget requests to organizational outcomes that no one disagrees with.
Call out non-uniform spending that you can forecast (e.g., particular events and one-time payments). Many finance systems by default spread annual budget uniformly over the months. Some financial reports highlight month-by-month variance and make it look like a bad thing.
Front-load your planned expenses in the 1H of the fiscal year wherever possible. Three years out of four you’ll be asked to trim 2H spending to hit a fiscal target.
Build a budget plan that supports your team’s ability to deliver good work, even when trims are necessary. Fight to keep money in the budget plan for training and helpful travel.
Make peace with the fact that you aren’t going to be told everything you’d like to know, and move forward.
Monitoring budgets and managing through the year
Monitor monthly reports. Put time on your calendar to do so. Get answers to your questions. Get those answers before anyone else asks you, especially your boss.
Encourage your team to be spending-smart. The cheapest way is not always the best choice…but at least it should have been reviewed as a choice.
In a downturn, cut more aggressively rather than being the laggard. If you created your budget plan correctly you already had ideas about how and where to make cuts.
Be mindful of the fully-loaded costs of decisions. Promotions, salary increases, mid-year hires, and depreciation have future year impacts.
Generate options for what you would do with savings or reallocated funds. Those monies go to people with articulate use cases.
The purpose of a budget is to deliver value to the organizations. It’s generally ok to be a little over-budget if you delivered kick-ass results, but better to be slightly under-budget. Being wildly under-budget hurts your credibility.
Getting help
Cultivate relationships with Finance colleagues; they want to help you!
Require direct reports who have budget tracking responsibilities to give you reviews and updates. Don’t assume; trust and verify.
Find people who are truly good with budgets to assist you as you move into more senior roles with broader scope of responsibilities. This talented person is a crucial ally. Never forget, however, that you are responsible for the budget.
I’m as prone to “bad days” and “crappy attitude” moments as
anyone else. These have near 100% correlation with focus-on-myself.
(Journaling helps you see this pattern, and your triggers.)
I invite people to do this experiment:
Step 1. Focus your eyes on your belly button.
Step 2. Run as fast as you can.
(Please try this experiment in a soft grassy area.)
Focusing up and out is the key for me. Helping people shift
their focus up and out is strong leadership work.
It was a heartfelt cry, not a statement: “I’m lonely. I’m really
lonely.” His face wrenched tight, and he
peered hopefully into my eyes. I’ve seen
the look before. I’ve been there myself.
He’s not the first leader to wrestle with the reality of
loneliness in challenging leadership transitions. He’s not alone in thinking “Why did I expect
leadership to be wonderful?” He’s not
the first to wonder how he was misunderstood or misrepresented. He, like so many, ponders who he can talk with
about these deep feelings without people losing confidence in his leadership.
The truth: Loneliness
is necessary to effective leadership.
The challenge is to embrace loneliness as a gift, rather than fight against
it the wrong way. Every leader faces loneliness. Many try the wrong approaches to escape
loneliness, to the point of abdicating leadership roles when we desperately
need them to lead.
Leadership forces a
structural kind of loneliness by design. You need a kind of distance from a group to
lead them well. Leaders need to know their people but avoid
being sucked into the crowd. Former
peers often misunderstand why a leader acts differently than they did “before.” Leaders often feel alone and distant, even
when surrounded by others and busy with all kinds of good work.
Loneliness is not
optional, even if you display a brave social face. Certain decisions come down to YOU. Your only choices are to decide or abdicate. Those decisions, and your behaviors, will
occasionally be misunderstood and misrepresented by some people. These realities create an inevitable
loneliness.
Loneliness is the
common experience for all leaders. Winston
Churchill could not have successfully led Britain in WW2 had he not endured a
lonely decade of preparation, operating out of power and influence after being
blamed for the disaster at Gallipoli.
Abraham Lincoln’s letters show he was intensely lonely during the
American Civil War, faced with horribly difficult decisions. Steve Jobs learned
during his lonely exile from Apple after his board of directors fired him; those
lessons and greater self-awareness were vital to his success when he returned
to Apple. These are dramatic examples in
history. There are a million more “ordinary” leaders who endured significant
loneliness and later became deeply grateful for it.
Avoiding loneliness
is hazardous. Of course, you should
have friendships and mentors. Of course,
you should pursue healthy solitude, to improve your capability to be truly with
people to serve them well. Yet, you’ll
still experience loneliness. Avoiding
loneliness leads to greater problems:
Lying to yourself about loneliness is not a
growth strategy. Seek to be a better
truth-teller than a better liar.
Denying your loneliness distorts your ability to
appropriate assess your behavior, and the behavior of others. It’s also a slippery path into depression.
Numbing your loneliness with alcohol, drugs, and
distracting entertainment is, at best, deferring your need to deal with
reality. Numbing always creates
secondary consequences which make problems harder to solve. You’ll hear people
say, ‘Kick the can down the road, and deal with it later.’ It’s not a can that will eventually rust
away. You’re kicking a grizzly bear cub
that grows up and gets meaner by the day.
Whining about your loneliness won’t help (and
simply demonstrates your immaturity).
Wallowing in your loneliness is refusing to learn what it can teach you
and resisting its ability to help transform you as a leader.
Find purpose and
meaning in the loneliness! Embrace it as
a gift, rather than fight it as a horror. Gird yourself and stand firm. Lean into your lonely moments. Expect
loneliness to be hard AND worthwhile.
The transforming
power of loneliness
Loneliness keeps our pride in check and gives us space for
honest self-assessment. You have
strengths and weaknesses, assets and vulnerabilities. During the lonely times
you discover your true friends and allies. What others think (or we imagine
they think) becomes less important. Loneliness done well, not bitterly, helps
us be more generous with people even as we see their masks and insecurities. We recognize the loneliness of others with
empathy.
Loneliness is a crucible for clarifying your vision and
calling. Loneliness forces us to
evaluate our bedrock principles. The
intensity of loneliness is a powerful filter for signal from noise and clamor.
Lonely times are preparation for future leadership. We get space to process our emotions, so we
can accept new challenges. Especially as
we anticipate a coming difficulty, we need time before we can say, “Let’s
go. Bring it on.” Loneliness expands our ability to be
effective while we’re uncomfortable. Loneliness
is practice strengthening our minds, hearts, and sinews for even harder fights
to come.
Finally, perhaps most importantly, loneliness shapes your
relationship with God — the only Person who knows your fears, doubts, and pain.
Seven practical helps
during the lonely times:
Say “thank you” aloud, even as you
ache and weep inside.
Share your thoughts only with highly trusted
people who have experience to understand and appreciate the challenge
Read biographies. Speak with other leaders. Remind yourself that every leader experiences
loneliness.
Journal.
Writing is cathartic and clarifying.
Journaling is a means of interacting constructively with your thoughts
and experiences.
Pray and meditate. These ancient practices are good for you.
Take long walks and exercise get your blood
flowing. You’ll process strong emotions
better.
Avoid addictions which distract or numb you.
Embrace loneliness as
a gift that transforms you into a better leader for bigger challenges.
We humans interpret the present and make decisions based on
our personal experiences and how we frame the past. A large part of our
worldview is essentially a narrative about the past – what happened, why, who
were the good guys, and who were the bad guys. Let’s walk through history
to see the power of narrative, and then pivot to organizational leadership.
An ironic quip in the Soviet Union: “We are certain of
the future. The past is always changing.” In 1981 I asked my college
friend Sergei about Stalin and Khrushchev; he acknowledged they had done
evil things. I asked him about Brezhnev, the premiere at that time. He
shook his head, replying, “I don’t know, he hasn’t died yet.”
Indeed, apart from mathematics and some scientific
disciplines specifically useful for weapons programs, the USSR regime brutally
suppressed any historical information that did not fit their preferred
narrative. Maoist China did the same thing. I witnessed this
pattern first-hand in Venezuela in 2002-2004. George Orwell made the
theme of a totalitarian state controlling the narrative about the past a
central element in his novel 1984. The main character
destroyed facts about the past by tossing them into the “memory hole.”
Communist and Fascist leaders alike know that governing the narrative
about the past is crucial to maintaining control. Many people have
observed that the dominant history is written and passed along by the victors.
The pattern is not limited to “evil” authoritarian
governments. The US, France, Germany and Japan all shaped how the history of
WW2 is taught in their schools. Today Americans shudder at the conquest
ethic and the colonial practices of Western European nations (which were
commonly done by every expansionist empire for thousands of years, on at least
4 continents). Many settled peoples were killed or forced off “their”
lands, and exploited. It was a practice going back in related forms for
several thousand years on at least five continents. Near where I grew up
the Shawnee and the Delaware tribes were displaced as European settlers moved
west past the Ohio River. The frequently warring Shawnee and Delaware had
pushed out several other tribes from the area about 120-150 years
earlier. There are large earth mounds at Marietta, Ohio from a
sophisticated civilization that predated the Shawnees by about 2400 years,
built on top of what looks like an even older agricultural community site.
In all these kinds of situations, where do you start and stop your
timeline to form the narrative about who is good and who is bad, and what
happened why?
What narrative gets told and is accepted about the
Industrial Revolution, pollical events in the 20th century, labor
unions, mercantilism, corporations, “Robber Barons” (or “Industrialists”) like Andrew
Carnegie and John Rockefeller, the racism and religious beliefs of country
founders and prominent leaders, the role of judges, protests against standing
laws and governments, entertainment, books, medical practices, and on and on
and on? Consider how much energy and effort goes into political campaigns
to control the narrative. I once interviewed a political consultant who
said that when a campaign gets a voter to cherish a preferred narrative,
it would very difficult for anyone to persuade them otherwise. Labels and
group names are powerful tools in shaping a narrative about the past. The
narratives can and will be re-shaped over the years as well.
A useful test is to ask “Had the historical events turned
out differently, what narrative would be told?” If Gandhi’s efforts had
not led to end of the British Raj, what stories would be treasured about
him? If Abraham Lincoln had not held the US together, would there be a
massive monument with his likeness in Washington, D.C.? These illuminate
the “who benefits” question.
Another lesson from historical narratives: Most people
gravitate to simple narratives that leave out messy details. Read “Mein
Kompf” and you’ll see how Adolf Hitler narrowed the downfall of Germany to an
impossibly narrow set of causes, and ultimately persuaded millions of people to
“forget” well-known truths about what had happened in their lifetimes.
Your organization, your industry, your competitors, and your
customers all have narratives. A subset are cherished by one “side” or
another.
Historical narratives are a ubiquitous part of business:
Every time there is a change in leaders, be aware of the narratives.
Every reorganization becomes a narrative story. Often there is a campaign to reframe the past in a particular narrative.
Often two groups inside a company or non-profit shape a historical narrative about the other, and both are partially correct.
Older organization members selectively shape the “we used to be…” or “in the bad/good ‘ol days we did…” stories.
Every top-down change initiative must manage competing narratives to “capture” hearts and minds.
Every negotiation (with vendors, partners, and portfolio priority stakeholders) has underlying historical narratives.
Customer experiences either reinforce or scrape against a narrative.
Strong leaders, aware of the power of narrative, consciously
use it in persuasion. Even when you are aware of revisionist history
narratives, you can still be victimized by them. Be particularly aware of
the simplistic narrative that leaves out nuance and inconvenient facts.
Sometimes the world changes dramatically in the middle of
your project or change program, to the point where you question what should
happen next.
An excellent historical example occurred during the Lewis
& Clark expedition from St. Louis as they searched for a water route to the
Pacific Ocean. They were commissioned in 1804 by President Jefferson and
had the best of men and supplies for the expedition. The expedition took
their keelboat up the Missouri River, and then up tributary after tributary for
over a year. Then they reached the Continental Divide at the Rocky
Mountains. No more river route. You can’t canoe over the
Rockies.
Lewis, the leader, still wanted to get to the Pacific.
The native tribes told him that it was only a 3-day journey over the mountains
and then there was a big river that flowed west. The expedition struggled
for six weeks getting over the Bitterroot Mountains – one the most rugged areas
in North America, by any measure – at the beginning of winter. They
hauled all their supplies and a large boat over multiple mountains, including a
7200-foot pass. Most of their horses died from exposure. Lewis
didn’t lose any men (one man had died much earlier, in what is now Iowa) and
eventually they were able to make their way to the Columbia River and reach the
Pacific Ocean. They endured a hard winter on the coast, then made
the return journey to St. Louis.
(The L&C expedition is a remarkable study in leadership.
Their diaries are detailed but I recommend Stephen Ambrose’s more
readable account, “Undaunted Courage.”)
So what do you do when the world changes affect your mission
or project? Three options:
Simply stop. Thank people for their time and effort, wrap it up professionally, and move on. This is far better than driving a project forward without changes.
If the mission is intact, figure out how to adapt the tactics and program methods. Find successes in the interim work.
Pivot to a new direction for a [re]new[ed] purpose. Lewis retained the mission of getting to the Pacific and exploring the lands between, even as he let go of the water route objective.
All three require skilled leadership – clear thinking,
aligning work to priority, and constant communication with stakeholder up,
down, right, and left.
There, I said it. I detest the conventional “if you
don’t finish every project YOU’RE A FAILURE” thing we say in our heads about
others, and ourselves.
Hear me clearly, ok? If you don’t finish
critical-to-succeed projects, it’s a problem. Starting, starting,
starting, and never finishing anything is a problem.
Reality: Some projects deserve to be stopped. Some
ideas don’t work out. Some experiments tell you to try something else
next time.
Fact: The person who finishes every project is either
themselves perfect (highly unlikely, dude!), a liar, or lacks the boldness to
try risky new things.
A set of unfinished projects in your portfolio, along with
those which yielded valuable results, is evidence you are trying, iterating
your way through work that matters.
Bonus: Some of those unfinished projects will come around
again in the future, and you can return to them when the time is right.
I’m an info-junkie. Getting more information gives me
a peculiar kind of rush; I don’t saturate easily.
This creates a problem. I must fight the temptation to
read/listen/watch more than actually do and practice. Books, podcasts,
and videos take you to the brink of experience, but are not a substitute for
experience and practice.
I believe in continual learning and exploration. The
world is a big, exciting place! Every craft and discipline goes deep and
wide.
Yet it is our behavior, not the breadth of our knowledge,
which drives most of our success. Repeatedly do what you know, and
practice the core elements of your craft. Bruce Lee reportedly said, “I
fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who
had practiced one kick 10,000 times.”
It’s rarely a lack of knowledge which causes you to
under-perform when it counts.
